I don't know what to say to her or anyone else. On Christmas morning, I was masturbating in bed when one of my cousins, who is 13, barged into my room without knocking. Instead of trying to bring about what will probably not live up to what you're expecting, why don't you show respect for your family members and keep your door closed and preferably locked. I know this because I frequently hear from people who write me that they still haven't gotten over being caught 30 or 40 years ago. It will probably not be exciting or something to fantasize about, but it will be something that will have an impact and that you will remember for decades. I have never heard about anyone fantasizing about the time their mom or sister walked in on them masturbating. Do you think it will excite me when someone walks in? Will I be able to fantasize about that moment forever? (age 16) I've starting keeping my door slightly ajar in hopes that someone will walk in. I want to be caught! I think it would be exciting. I've read your page about being caught, and everyone seems to be horrified that it happened to them. It is not your responsibility to say anything to his friend, so instead of saying anything about masturbation, I would encourage you to just be friendly as usual and not say anything about the incident. That behavior should very much be discouraged, especially at his age. He can't always be sure who's seeing what he's putting on video. The more difficult part is telling him it's dangerous to masturbate or even to show his private parts on video. The easy part is to simply tell your brother that masturbating is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. The situation you describe is complicated because it involves another boy and the internet. Since you are the older one, it is your duty to break the ice. How can I break the ice? His friend also visits our house often, and he could also be embarrassed. I walked in on my younger brother, who is 11, masturbating over the internet with his friend. Tell her it was a mistake and it will never happen again. I want to apologize and don't know what to say. I was masturbating to (non-nude) photos of my older stepsister on my computer when suddenly she walked in and saw. I think saying that will make you less ill at ease.
I think you should just tell her you'll make sure your blinds are closed from now on. Should I apologize to her or just let it be? (age 15) While she is totally normal in her behavior, I am feeling ill at ease. I know I should have been more careful but now that it has happened, I am feeling very awkward when she drops in to visit my sister. She was at her window and I had not realized that the blinds were not closed entirely. I was masturbating after coming back from school last week, when my sister's friend, who is 21, saw me. Here are some actual questions from readers of this site and the author's replies. Males are more likely than females to be discovered, if only due to the increased frequency at which males masturbate.Īnother page on this site deals with privacy for masturbating in dorms and other shared living situations. This article, therefore, is concerned with being discovered by persons other than spouse or exclusive sexual partner.
Most of the people who discover someone masturbating are older and experienced with the practice themselves.īeing discovered by a spouse is different from being discovered by someone else, because the spouse is usually more concerned about the impact of a partner's masturbation on the couple's sexual life than about the act itself. Few of the people who walk in on a masturbation session say anything about it, generally being too embarrassed themselves to say anything. Yet, there seems to be no consequence of being discovered. Even people who have little guilt about masturbating in general feel ashamed to be discovered in the act most refer to it as being "caught," as though they were doing something immoral or illegal. People often delay or postpone masturbation when they feel they lack privacy, and people often stop masturbating while painfully close to orgasm when they hear a sound that threatens their privacy.Ĭoncerns that someone will discover them masturbating are justified more than half of those surveyed have said someone has accidentally discovered them masturbating at least once. Nearly everyone would be mortified to be accidentally discovered masturbating, or to accidentally discover someone masturbating.
Nearly everyone agrees that masturbating should only be done in private, and do so. Issues about masturbatory privacy: Getting "caught"
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